Archive | terror RSS feed for this section

Horrible Hookup Haiku

27 Jul

Night, sirens holler

Stupid Hamas, sad and scared

Sleeping with the ex





War, What Is It Good For?

17 Nov

A siren wailed and I ran to Baby’s room, picked him up and fled barefoot into the stairwell of my 70-year-old falling apart building. There’s no way in hell I’m going into the shelter in the bulding’s disgusting basement, with the rats and roaches. I might as well get hit by a missle. Well, I used to think that way, but now I have a baby in my arms. I have to keep it together for him.

War sucks bigtime. Plus, it’s killing all of my plans. I’m supposed to renovate next week. I’m doing this whole independent-woman thing now, and sirens sending me running to mom and dad’s place up north – that’s just not working for me.

Last time we Skyped with Baby Daddy he was talking about how sorry he was for being away in the States for work, how he’d like to he here with us during this time of political turmoil. All I could think about was – who are you kidding? You left us. You don’t want to be with us. Why say stuff you don’t actually stand behind?

I’m trying to be brave. I know I’m a lot stronger than I tend to give myself credit for. I left my parents house, and came back home. I gave Baby a long hot bath and told him a story and sang songs to him. I blew Baby Daddy off when he wanted to Skype because I knew that would be hard and I need to keep things as simple and easy as possible for myself right now. But then I brushed my teeth, and went into my room that used to be our room, and got into my bed that used to be our bed – for thirteen years. And I knew that at least for tonight, and maybe for the next few days, or weeks, I’m bunking on the mattress we keep for guests in Baby’s room.

I just really need to be close to someone who loves me right now.