Letting Go of the Pear

8 Jul

pear

Baby’s afternoon snack was a pear yesterday, cut into pieces that he could easily hold in his fist and take little bites out of using his now five teeth. He was excited about this pear, licking, sucking, and biting into it enthusiastically. He ate it in his stroller as we made our way to the playground and he was about half way through his third piece when we reached our destination. Now he had a dilemma, he wanted to play, but couldn’t let go of his pear.

At first he tried playing with his pear still in his hand. But as he’d only recently started walking (hurray!), this preocupation threw off his balance and he kept falling down. Also, he needed both hands to climb and play. And so, eventually, he came to me and handed me the pear. I took it and held it in my hand so he could see it. He seemed worried. I told him he could have the pear back whenever he wanted, I was just keeping it for him. He started to play but less then two minutes later he began to cry and would only be consoled by having his pear back. He gave it a lick and put it back in my hand for saf keeping. This happened two more times, after which he came back another time just wanting to see the pear. Finally he let go. He realized that the present was more important than the past, that there would be other pears, maybe even peaches or plums in his future.

I observed him through this process and thought of myself, my relationship with SG, how difficult it was to end it, and how many times we tried to end it, unsuccessfully. And how eventually it did end, no thanks to me.

He was my pear (and my pair). Sweet, juicy, tasty, satisfying. He was exactly what I needed at the time. And it’s difficult to let go, because just like my boy, I too worry that I might never get another pear. For all I know, this pear might be the last pear on Earth.

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