Sleep Intolerant

3 Nov

Baby daddy spent a night with the little guy last week while I went out with friends and got shitfaced, and in the morning when I texted him to see how Baby was, he wrote back that he doesn’t get why I’m so tired, Baby slept through the night. Doesn’t he always do that? This has happened twice so far. He’ll sleep through the night with his daddy, but wake up especially for me.

It’s 3 am in the countryside now, and the night is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I am away for a quiet weekend with a good friend and guess what? Baby is fast asleep.  He must be able to sense the chilled vibes of trees, clear skies, sunshine and birds chirping. He was relaxed and easygoing all day, to an extent where everyone here is impressed: What an easy baby!

And here I am, writing this post. Baby is fast asleep. So now who’s not sleeping through the night? I haven’t gotten more than five consecutive hours of sleep since the little guy was born, and that’s on a good night. At the beginning it was him – waking me up – but now I think I’ve just become sleep-intolerant. Night time is dark and quiet and dreamy. You remember things at night that you can forget during the day.

Since the breakup, I’ve only rarely cried. I’ve become kind of feisty. Even this blog is a little feisty, I think. But here I am in the countryside. The night is even quieter, lonelier here than it is in the city. Only a grandfather clock keeps ringing every half hour. And Baby won’t wake. I’m sitting here outside his room, ready to console him. If he wakes up crying I’ve got an army of milk and cuddles to put him right. But Baby is fast asleep.


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